[He hesitates at the invitation, but only for a moment. Then he takes the offered seat on the bed. ...Next to him. Maybe a little too close, he wasn't really sure how far apart two men should sit on a bed. He's never! Sat on a bed with another man before!!
...He is overthinking and he knows that.
Hands in his lap, fingers entwined again and he focuses on that, and not the man next to him.]
Oh... I see. That makes sense. It's nice that you all could have this, at the very least.
[But his throat tightens as he listens.
Everyone has something.
His chin trembles and he makes a strained sound that could be thought of as a laugh.]
N-No... no, I know that. I do. I've got Noct, I've got photography. A-And- [Clearing his throat over the lump that was forming.]
I'm lucky, you know? He's a great friend, I've admired him for years. Only... Only recently did I think I was good enough to approach him. I wasn't much when I was a kid, a chubby loner in an empty house. A nobody who wasn't quite right to meet a prince.
But I worked at it. I worked so hard.
Running... helped me reach my goals, but it was also something to do in the morning instead of sitting around an empty kitchen. Something to do after school before I resigned myself to homework, supper then bed. I... I still like to read and play video games by myself, because that's what I always did.
[It was all just coming out and he couldn't stop it. His cheeks felt wet but the reason wasn't registering. Nyx didn't need to hear this, no one needed to hear this. He probably should have slipped his phone in his pocket and tried to duck out of the bar on his own. He always turned into a sad little mess after drinking. Especially when he drank alone.]
But... at the end of the day, when Noct is back home and being a Prince, who am I really? My apartment is so... big? Meant for a family. I don't even remember what a family is. I'm not even allowed beyond the gates to visit my best friend, because I'm insignificant, a lowly peasant scuffing the heels of royal boots.
I'm- I'm okay with it? I think I am. Because the few hours I get, where I can laugh and joke and be okay... it's nice. But I don't like going home. It's empty there... it's quiet. And it makes me feel worthless and insignificant.
Like. Like I don't belong.
[There was so much more that he didn't say. How he would talk constantly to fill the silence within those walls. Turn on the television nice and loud, so the empty spaces had sound. Some sort of life.]
...It's why I went to those bars tonight. I just... wanted to be near people even though I was alone.
no subject
...He is overthinking and he knows that.
Hands in his lap, fingers entwined again and he focuses on that, and not the man next to him.]
Oh... I see. That makes sense. It's nice that you all could have this, at the very least.
[But his throat tightens as he listens.
Everyone has something.
His chin trembles and he makes a strained sound that could be thought of as a laugh.]
N-No... no, I know that. I do. I've got Noct, I've got photography. A-And- [Clearing his throat over the lump that was forming.]
I'm lucky, you know? He's a great friend, I've admired him for years. Only... Only recently did I think I was good enough to approach him. I wasn't much when I was a kid, a chubby loner in an empty house. A nobody who wasn't quite right to meet a prince.
But I worked at it. I worked so hard.
Running... helped me reach my goals, but it was also something to do in the morning instead of sitting around an empty kitchen. Something to do after school before I resigned myself to homework, supper then bed. I... I still like to read and play video games by myself, because that's what I always did.
[It was all just coming out and he couldn't stop it. His cheeks felt wet but the reason wasn't registering. Nyx didn't need to hear this, no one needed to hear this. He probably should have slipped his phone in his pocket and tried to duck out of the bar on his own. He always turned into a sad little mess after drinking. Especially when he drank alone.]
But... at the end of the day, when Noct is back home and being a Prince, who am I really? My apartment is so... big? Meant for a family. I don't even remember what a family is. I'm not even allowed beyond the gates to visit my best friend, because I'm insignificant, a lowly peasant scuffing the heels of royal boots.
I'm- I'm okay with it? I think I am. Because the few hours I get, where I can laugh and joke and be okay... it's nice. But I don't like going home. It's empty there... it's quiet. And it makes me feel worthless and insignificant.
Like. Like I don't belong.
[There was so much more that he didn't say. How he would talk constantly to fill the silence within those walls. Turn on the television nice and loud, so the empty spaces had sound. Some sort of life.]
...It's why I went to those bars tonight. I just... wanted to be near people even though I was alone.